on riffs and slushies and near

was feeling aimless and sweaty
on the couch last night
when hank came in to play this thing
he composed on his guitar
and here my nearly seventeen year old
football playing
baseball playing
shaved head
muscly
boy
sat on a stool
and played a riff
so quiet i had to incline my head
and played a riff
so beautiful i had to leave the room
lest someone see me cry
and
i don't know how these boys,
like sunrises,
surprise me everyday
but god in his infinite
wisdom
knew i would need them,
anchors for this drifting summer,
beside me on the new pew
around the dining room table
in quicktrip choosing slushies,
near

677. a lunch box made of duct tape
678. blackberries from my forest
679. dog and cat making friends
680. chickens fertilizing the yard
681. my girl - seeing her after a long time of not
682. sunrise on the garden
683. isaiah 61 - a cornerstone text

linking with -
michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, ann for 1000 gifts, l.l. for on, in, and around mondays

joan for sharing his beauty, laura for playdates with god jen for soli deo gloria shanda for on your heart tuesdays and kat for titus 2 tuesdays

vacation rentals

we scraped and saved
adding bills to a wrinkled business envelope
for nearly a year
so
we could rent a cottage on the caribbean
for a week
we flew and ferried and drove
to keel point on anegada
and the promises of stunning beauty
were real
but we got much more than
a vacation rental
and blue water
and seafood
and souvenirs
we got a lot of no's
no interruptions
no phones
no tv
no internet
no people
just time together to celebrate these years
twenty of them
and even beyond that
i learned that i am okay with myself
if i'm not blogging
if i'm not running
if i'm not in control of home
and this?
stunning beauty

how about you? what's going on with your summer?

linking with:

emily for imperfect prose
jen for god bumps
joy for life:unmasked
seeds of faith for #ifellowship

women and the desire to be "er"

this post-it note hung on my mirror for years
chris preserved it for me in a shadow box

my boys count their
scars with pride
twelve just on my left leg
and crooked fingers are to covet
i broke this one in 7th grade football
but women and girls
wish
noses were cuter
skin clearer
eyes a deeper hue
waists smaller
legs thinner
hair straighter, curlier, lighter, darker
and
this desire to be er
is not a god idea
he
formed my inward parts
and knitted me together
when we stare ourselves down
wishing to be er
we are
berating
god

how do we break this cycle of self-loathing and become women who praise him for his wonderful works? i really want to know.

linking with:

emily for imperfect prose
jen for god bumps
joy for life:unmasked
seeds of faith for #ifellowship

what the weeds told me

sweat pools behind my knees
dirt accumulates under my nails
as the weed pile grows
between corn stalks
and
this weeding is
always
and
dirty
and
tedious
and
ugly
but

this weeding
bestows life and beauty
and
doesn't my heart need it, too?
weeding?
so even though it will be
always and dirty and tedious and ugly
i ask the life-bestower
to
search me...and know my heart
try me and know my thoughts
and
see if there be any grievous way
in me
and lead me in the
way everlasting
because i
want
that
beauty


have you ever prayed this - psalm 139:23-24 - for yourself?

continuing to count his gifts to 1000 -

669. summer break
670. baseball
671. chickens, out of the coop and killing snakes
672. tiny little kitty
673. boys weeding the garden
674. dad working hard at physical therapy
675. clothes on a line
676. time alone with husband


linking with -
michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, ann for 1000 gifts, l.l. for on, in, and around mondays

joan for sharing his beauty, laura for playdates with god jen for soli deo gloria shanda for on your heart tuesdays and kat for titus 2 tuesdays

on seeing like grammy

writing for five minutes on see

a splatter of tropical punch kool-aid
greeted me this morning
it's on the floor
between the kitchen and living room
but
a slight smile,
not irritation,
accompanied the sight
it reminded me of that
grammy* feeling
i've had since my brother-in-law's
family moved close
and i find myself
buying coloring books in target
whipping up double batches of chocolate chip cookies
gushing into the phone yes come on over
when a five-year-old voice
asks to come visit the new kitty
i love this,
seeing like grammy

*grammy is my mom, the nicest person on the face of the earth

linking with -
the gypsy mama for five-minute-friday
beki at the rusted chain for fingerprint friday

michelle for caffeinated randomness

studio jru for sneak peek friday