on hearing god along the road

photo credit

life has been a bit noisy of late

classes
cheerleading tryouts
baseball games
dinners with family and friends
and all of it good
but sometimes hearing god
above the din of normalcy
is impossible
so i ran the mountain this misty morning
and all i heard was my
slap slap slapping feet
beside the
yarrow and daisies
and i was
in
his
sanctuary
and this
is
worship

what do you think about worshiping alone in nature?

continuing to count his gifts to 1000 -

633. hand-stitched apron from a friend
634. mother-in-law cleaning the kitchen
635. plans for the SDG retreat in october!
636. indigo bunting perched on blackberry stalk
637. mountain laurel in full bloom
638. baseball games
639. cheerleading tryouts
640. dinners with family and friends
641. dusty ceramic salt and pepper shakers from grandma's house
642. text messages from my girl, the one i mentor
643. my sister-in-law's water bottle sitting beside mine on the newspaper box this morning

linking with:

michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, ann for 1000 gifts, l.l. for on, in, and around mondays

joan for sharing his beauty, laura for playdates with god jen for soli deo gloria and
shanda for on your heart tuesdays

just sometimes

sometimes i feel ridiculous
like tonight
when i needed to feed the
pigs
i drove into the garage
and didn't
want to go upstairs
for mud shoes and a jacket of my own
so i donned
papa's XL red fleece
and
my son's beat up way-too-big nikes
to walk the .13 miles
blue sand bucket in hand
i had to take these really weird little steps
to keep the shoes on
and the jacket sleeves made me look like
my hands reached nearly to my knees
a caricature
of a woman making her way to
the pig pen
sometimes i feel ridiculous
like when i try things my own way
don't wait on god
don't seek his wisdom
a caricature
of a woman making her way through
life
sometimes i feel ridiculous

the wednesday-friday links:

tiffani for word women wednesday

emily for imperfect prose

bonnie at the faith barista for faith barista jam
casey at the wiegand's

beki at the rusted chain for fingerprint friday

michelle for caffeinated randomness

studio jru for sneak peek friday

jennifer v. davis

wrap this up

the true

light

that gives

light to

everyone

(has come)

into

the

world!

i want
to be in
that
light.

how are you thinking about light during this season?


linking up with jen today!

complex sentence

i will stop and give you praise, for great is thy faithfulness.

fast melts

jack has these
benadryl fast melts -
slightly tasty
little tablets
that reduce allergy symptoms
quickly
what if i had
anti-foolishness fast melts -
slightly tasty
little tablets
that reduce dullard-like symptoms?
when a situation
arises that requires
wit
insight
acumen
wisdom
i could pop one in
and within mere seconds
dispense just what
the listener needs

but it's there,
this anti-foolishness fast melt:

God gave Solomon
wisdom
and very great insight,
and a breadth of understanding
as measureless
as the sand on the seashore.

I Kings 4:29

Linking up with Emily at Chatting at the Sky.

a tuesday in september

chris is packing
(i sent him off a day
early in my last post)
it really is today
bangalore
to work with a
church plant
(i always think
of a greenhouse first)
last night
i was so sad
(for myself)
and therein lies the problem
this is for God
pretty sure he's
not sad
this is for Chris
pretty sure he's
excited
i'm looking out now
away from me
and dry-eyed
i will send him off

hooking up with Emily at Chatting at the Sky today for her Tuesday in September.

new stuff to not like and a good God and a good man

1. i didn't like my post from earlier. deleted it. a first.
2. i stripped the bed yesterday but forgot to put clean sheets on.  i was not a fan of that last night at 10:30.
3. i lost all 2009 tax return data. the forms i mean. nowhere to be found on either computer. and i need it.
4. chris leaves for india tomorrow. i'm sad already.
5. my head hurts. this is not a new thing to not like. just saying.

it's a good thing that God is good.
and chris stopped by the road to pick flowers for me.
and he put them in a vase.
and they will stay there until that man gets home from india.

is to come

Emily over at Chatting at the Sky is lingering over her summer. Check out her site to see what other writers have to say about lingering. I'm lingering, contemplative, over a cup of coffee....

and feeling kind of homeless
missing normal
room 813
wbc
running in the mornings
seeing my children
lunch with my husband
talking to sister eight times a day
tears are amassed
behind my eyelids
ready at a moment's notice

i've written here about
dreading
loathing
resisting
change
but God is timely, isn't he?
this week's study for
chris and me
is revelation chapters four and five -
a vivid description of the
throne room of God.
in heaven four creatures sing
day and night
day. and. night.
holy, holy holy
is the Lord God Almighty
who was, and is, and is to come

he was
my summer
he is
the first work week
and will be
the school year
and
new church
and
and
and
and
forever.
hallelujah!

basagna

My nephew told his parents one night at the dinner table, "I don't like basagna. It makes my elbow hurt." He's three. And he wasn't confused - he pointed to his elbow when he said it! I've returned to that several times over the last week - mainly because it makes me laugh. That kid is hilarious. But it's also made me think about behaviors and pain that seem to come from nowhere. Or from eating basagna. Understanding why we do what we do can help us prune what needs pruning and fertilize what needs fertilizing.

I get this as a teacher. A student struggles to stay awake and complete assignments one week but not the next? Check into her home life. Lives with one parent one week and another the next. It's likely that one parent has high expectations for school work and bed times while the other doesn't. I try to understand why my students behave as they do. It helps me find ways to support them so that they have a chance at success.

Apply it to my life? My behaviors? Mmmmm. Not so fulfilling. If I understand why I'm choosing eating disordered behavior or why I'm angry at someone, then I have to fix it. And I am not a handy person. I'm much more adept at wallowing than repairing.

But here's some good news - God is the great repairman. He not only knows why our elbows hurt from eating basagna, he can help us take care of that. Look at Isaiah 61:3 (the prophet is prophesying about the Messiah coming to the people to...)

bestow on them on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning
a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

I'd really like to be an oak of righteousness, but until I get the yuck out, I will never be. So when my elbow hurts, instead of enjoying it, I think I'll ask God to fix it for me.

what the wind knows

I'm thinking of my brother and his wife and two children today. I do every day, but today I'm thinking about them while I'm writing. They lost their twenty-two-year-old son on December 19, 2009. It still feels fresh to me, so I can't fathom what they are feeling. Yet they are standing. By the grace of God they are standing. I love them so much. Here's a piece for them.

50mph
today
is a
stareoutthewindow
day
snow covered roads
keep us home
but
the wind is
my true
captor
bending the trees
without
mercy
they try to
save themselves by
throwing off their
extremities
branches flying
hitting the
windows
today
is a
stareoutthewindow
day
the wind is
my true captor
trying to kill
the trees
they screech their
protests
echoing off the mountain
howling in the chimney
today is a
stareoutthewindow
day
the wind is
my true captor
torturing
the trees
they bend
nearly to breaking
but
will stand
at
the
end
of
the
day
today
is a
stareoutthewindow
day
i'm trying
to hear
the lessons
hidden in
the wind
how to
stand
at
the
end
of
the
day

one of those days

I had one of those days today when I feel like I must be broken or something. Just mad, really, that I'm not perfect. Perfection. Anyone else waiting around on her? Elusive. Seductive. I mean, I've cried major tears over this. Worked myself up over it. And of course I think everyone around me is at least closer to it than me. If not there already. Well, I'm tired. God, alone, is perfect. I'd like to stop trying to be God now.

exhaustion

been waiting around on perfection
seeking it at times
the perfect
job
car
outfit
day
night’s sleep
poem
book
cup of coffee
self
reckon i might rest a spell