Sunday, September 30, 2012

waiting for the sun - how anorexia affected our marriage

Rain Texture
the mountain road called my name
but saturday was gray and dripping
so i set my asics aside
to wait for the sunday sun
and
the deluge reminded me
of the rainy season
in our marriage
when ed (anorexia) had slipped in
and i loved him most
because chris threatened my thinness
i was
self-destructive
determined
hard-hearted
and
chris was
confused
afraid
angry
we were gray and dripping
but we waited for the sun
and in the waiting we listened
to god and wise counsel
and in the waiting we worked
at love
and in the waiting we began
to turn from ourselves
until a new day
arrived

how about you? what do you do in the waiting?

continuing to count his gifts to 1000 -

784. gathering eggs
785. first soup of the season
786. field trip success (we didn't see a snake)
787. time for naps
788. grocery shopping with my husband
789. son dressed up for dinner and a dance
790. a friend's book on the way

linking with -

michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, ann for 1000 gifts, l.l. for on, in, and around mondays

16 comments:

  1. so love the picture painted here of waiting for the sun...

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  2. glad you fought through the fog
    miss you!

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  3. Wow, Kendal! There are so many people in pain who need to read this. How I'm glad that God carried you through - and what beautiful words you formed together to express this. Thank you for sharing!

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  4. kendal...do I say this every time?...I love how you weave your stories...simple but so profound...so thankful for sunshine in your life and marriage...happy monday...blessings~

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  5. Awesome post. The Lord has given you such a unique gift with words and your life lessons. Blessings to you.

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  6. yes.

    i love how God sometimes does His most critical work in the waiting. so much hope here, kendal. i'm grateful for you.

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  7. naps... such pure gift. we can rest because He is always at work! it doesn't depend on us! blessing from uganda

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  8. I'm afraid I haven't always been so patient or godly in the waiting. :-( But I want to be, more and more. You inspire, Kendal. Thank you for your honesty.

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  9. Waiting can be so impossibly hard and exhausting. While I wait I press in, scoot closer to hear His whisper and pray for a willing heart.

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  10. So beautiful, Kendal! Your words, your story.

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  11. I love that this waiting became a verb in your marriage. Beautiful words here!

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  12. visiting from ann's... you asked what do others do in the waiting? it feels like we've been waiting for awhile, though in the grand scheme of things i realize it hasn't been that long...

    but when i'm waiting in what often feels like a desert place, i hold on tight to whatever it is that is alive around me - sometimes that's God's Word, sometimes it is praise and worship music, sometimes it is the hand of a friend, sometimes it is the miracle of life or the beauty of creation or the image of God seen in the people around me. i hang on tight to that, keep trying to focus my gaze on that... and wait.

    thank you for sharing this powerful glimpse from your story.

    blessings!

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  13. I wait impatiently (I hate admitting that). But it's worth it when I'm waiting for the SON. I try to focus to get involved in something else. Your words always touch my heart with their honesty, yet inspire me to higher things, too.

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  14. Oh, sweetie, I can't imagine how hard it was. I'm so glad you listened and waited and loved.

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  15. I came over from Ann's blog... I love that you "did" in the waiting. Beautifully written.

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