on borrowed light

charles spurgeon wrote that
like the moon,
we
borrow
our
light....
and how foolish i must appear
trying to borrow my luminous from
running
clothes
books
teaching
good works
opinions
people
when nothing this world offers
shines
the loving-serving-forgiving-Jesus light
i
want
to
be

from whom or what are you borrowing your light?

linking with kelly, laura, jen, jennifer, barbie, sharita, holley

lessons on walking, from a high school chorus

dark

descends

early now

and

this is 

disconcerting

because light 

is

an

anchor

holding steady the stumblers

is this why i love 

Christmas's light

so much?

is this why i love

celebrating the

overcoming-darkness light 

that

came

to walk with us?

oh 

stumbler

may you walk in the light

through this season

how about you? what reminds you of Christ the most in this season?

linking with kelli, laura, jen, jennifer, barbie, sharita

from turkey to tree

my parents. light-livers.

the tasktotasktotask
of turkey to tree
is a daunting thirty days of
meal prep
clean-up
decorating
shopping
wrapping
concerts
parties
tournaments
and
it seems i'll miss the word-come-to-dwell-with-us
unless i take the time to
sit
still
and
let in the light

what will you do this season to let in the light?

linking with:

michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, kathy for titus 2 confessions,  joan for sharing his beauty, laura for playdates with god, jennifer for tell his story, jen for soli deo gloria, emily for imperfect prose

because we're all a little dusty

when the light is just right
i see that
a fine layer of dust
lies just beyond
the vacuum's reach
sigh
this is the part of house cleaning that involves
crouching
and
attachments
and
nuisance
but in my quest for nonsqualidity
(i know it's not a word)
i'll clean it
and this preaches
because we're all a little dusty
and in need of one who crouches down
to
clean
us
up

i'm so thankful we serve a savior who sheds light on the dust and is willing to dirty himself to clean us up. how about you? what's your thankful today?

linking with:

michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, kathy for titus 2 confessions,  joan for sharing his beauty, laura for playdates with god, jennifer for tell his story, jen for soli deo gloria, emily for imperfect prose

word from the word

my favorite word from the word on sunday was
uttermost
it's full and final
and
serves as a humble reminder
that i can't enough myself into
right
with
god
i can't work enough
i can't pray enough
i can't listen to christian music enough
i can't write enough
i can't take care of my family enough
i can't go to church enough
for a welcome at god's throne
jesus alone can save to the
uttermost
and he does
and it's for his glory
and let us celebrate him
to
the
uttermost
in this, his holy week

what word from scripture stands out to you?

continuing to count his gifts to 1000 -

973. two hours of saturday sun
974. photos of last summer's warm
975. making people happy with food
976. baseball
977. excellent coffee
978. mediocre coffee, too
979. holding little privettes on my lap
980. students making connections

 linking with -

michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, ann for 1000 gifts, joan for sharing his beauty, laura for playdates with god, jennifer for tell his story, jen for soli deo gloria, my freshly brewed life and kat for titus 2 tuesdays

hey, checkis out

bloodroot with trillium peeking through

we have a friend who says
hey, check this out
when he shares the exciting
(here in the southern united states
it is pronounced checkis out
and out has two syllables)
i found this phrase's twin 
in matthew's gospel - behold
he uses it thirty-nine times
behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream
behold, angels came and were ministering to him
behold, a leper came to him and knelt before him
behold, your king is coming to you
behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two
behold, i am with you always, to the end of the age
i'm taking time this easter season to
behold
the truth that
while we were weak
while we were sinners
while we were enemies of god
he reconciled
us
to him
behold

what are you beholding this season? 

continuing to count his gifts to 1000 - 


967. plants in the ground
968. bloodroot miracle- every. year.
969. laughter at work
970. both sons at the dinner table
971. triple-chocolate cookies
972. first sip of coffee

linking with -

michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, ann for 1000 gifts, joan for sharing his beauty, laura for playdates with god, jennifer for tell his story, jen for soli deo gloria, my freshly brewed life and kat for titus 2 tuesdays

has this always been in the bible?

i wrote this in my journal yesterday
Jesus is manna - 
from somewhere in John.
but he doesn't rot
has this always been in the bible?
because metaphor makes me swoon
so i think i would have noticed it
am i blind to all but the mundane?
when i think of what's coming down from above
it's
rain
stinkbugs
and
dust from the beams
oh lord open my eyes
to the manna from heaven who is
compassion
omniscience
piercing wisdom
sacrifice
amen

what fresh word have you gotten lately?

934. opportunities for learning
935. a running partner
936. anne lamott
937. planning the summer's garden
938. husband sacrificing for me
939. coffee from my favorite mug

 linking with -

michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, ann for 1000 gifts, joan for sharing his beauty, laura for playdates with god, the true vine challenge, amber for concrete words, jen for soli deo gloria, my freshly brewed life and kat for titus 2 tuesdays

if you say marvel enough times it starts to sound weird

another one of my brother's great shots

i word-searched an
english standard version 
and found that all kinds of people
marveled when jesus was around...
the men
the crowds
the disciples
the pharisees
jesus's father and mother
the jews
everyone
including...jesus
jesus. marveled.
which makes him more human to me,
that he could be astonished, taken aback
he encountered a centurion-whose-servant-lay-dying
and jesus offered to walk with him home
but the centurion answered
just say the word
and
when jesus heard this, he marveled 
at the man's faith
but when jesus-son-of-god
returned to his hometown to minister
he was met with scoffs and questions
and
he marveled because of their unbelief
and
i want to be that centurion answering
just say the word
that jesus might marvel
at
my
faith
(lord help my unbelief)

where are you with faith these days? with the centurion (just say the word), with the scoffers, or somewhere in between?

continuing to count his gifts to 1000 -

899. single daffodil snubbing her nose at winter
900. spring's scent, if only fleeting
901. doe bounding over trail
902. work friends
903. imitrex
904. nutella on a spoon
905. wrestling tournaments
906. lunch out with friends
907. promise of husband's friday return


linking with -

michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, ann for 1000 gifts, emily for tuesdays unwrapped,

joan for sharing his beauty, laura for playdates with god, jen for soli deo gloria, my freshly brewed life and kat for titus 2 tuesdays

boxes on the floor and handel hallelujahs

a wise man has gone missing
a strand of lights has brightened
its last branch
i can't locate the jan brett
christmas treasury
darkness thwarts my attmepts
to gather greenery
and
my living room is a sea of boxes
(ornaments lying in wait)
but
my failure to arrange the thirty-four santas
standing in odd little groups
on an unadorned mantle
doesn't change truth
christ was born!  
and he was born
to
plead my case
and
there is nothing left but
singing
handel hallelujahs

how about you? have you been decorated a month? not even started? how important is it to you?

linking with -

jen for god bumps, joy for life:unmasked, emily for imperfect prose, grace for FYBF, michelle for caffeinated randomness and studio jru for sneak peek friday

an early morning question

i found a word-surprise
in scripture
this morning
jesus was teaching
in the temple courts
and mark says
that the large crowd
listened to him
with delight
and
i imagined people enraptured with
joyfulness and smiles
and
do i really listen to him with
delight?

what scriptures have spoken to you lately?

linking with

lori for word filled wednesday
emily for imperfect prose
jen for god bumps
joy for life:unmasked

the third cup

photo credit

i was like a child for my first
passover seder
stumbling over words
charoset, afikomen, haggadah
making eleven drops
of juice on my napkin
to represent egypt's ten plagues
eating bitter herbs with mild trepidation
but of the too-much-to-learn-in-one-night
i am holding the four cups
that represent god's i wills
i will bring you out from under egypt's yoke
i will free you from being slaves to them
i will redeem you with an outstretched arm
i will take you as my own people
the third cup whispers hope in my ear
as i think about jesus offering redemption
at his last passover seder
and i am floored
after the supper he took the cup, saying,
this cup is the new covenant in my blood
which is poured out for you
is this cup, redemption, also the one of his
gethsemane prayer?
father, if you are willing,
take this cup from me;
yet not my will,
but yours be done
this third cup, redemption,
whispers
hope
in my ear
and
i
am
floored

continuing to count his gifts to 1000 -

600. salvation
601. cadbury mini-eggs
602. dirty floors (means we have good weather!)
603. my small group - we might not always agree, but we love
604. the montana privettes now north carolina privettes
605. my parents' lily on their grandson's grave
606. the hope of sunrise
607. the joy of mentoring
608. my husband's wisdom and laughter and care
609. hank and jack playing with their younger cousins

linking with:

michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, ann for 1000 gifts, l.l. for on, in, and around mondays

joan for sharing his beauty, richella for grace imparted, laura for playdates with god

jen for soli deo gloria and shanda for on your heart tuesdays

after a faculty meeting

another one of my brother's photos

i ran on the school track late in the afternoon
the low-slung clouds
  black, gray, yellow
came to meet the fall trees
  green, yellow, orange, red
and my prayers
  were low-slung too
  were thirsty pleas
for young people
  their safety
  their wisdom
  their understanding
  their healing
and these jesus words
came to mind
take heart!
i have overcome
the
world
hallelujah!
 
for some great reads today, check out these ladies:

emily at imperfect prose

beki at the rusted chain for fingerprint friday

michelle for caffeinated randomness

studio jru for sneak peek friday

balking

so scary sometimes
to move on
when we've dug in our heels
but that's not the life
god intended for us

jesus said
i came so that everyone
would have life,
and
have it in its fullest.


a new jars of clay song (eyes wide open) says
so god bruise the heels we've dug in the ground
that we might move closer to love
pull out the roots we've dug in so deep
finish what you've started
help us to believe

i'm praying specifically
for a friend today
who knows she's balking
but doesn't want to move

and linking up with imperfect prose on thursdays

life without

i want to write something lovely. inspiring. thought-provoking. hilarious. but here's the truth:

1. it's 5:57 and we need to be out the door in 33 minutes. hair not fixed. no make up on.
2. i hate what i'm wearing. i plugged in the iron a few minutes ago so i could get a fail-safe outfit ready.
3. jack has awakened with a barking cough - he is not a fan of that. i should pay attention.
4. i'm feeling a load of concern for a friend.

i have nothing. except. i didn't stir my oatmeal very well this morning and got a bite without any brown sugar. blech. made me think of a life without Jesus. just saying.

go blog hopping today! you'll find something way better than this.

chatting at the sky
finding heaven

pride alert

the boys
argue
whine
plead
leave piles
but
i hear hank's
name on the loud speaker
at jv football
and the voice of the eagles
pronounces it correctly
he's my boy
my first born
i used to rock him
and he's good

at soccer
the opposition's goalie
yells
four four four watch four get four
and jack is
number four
a threat to the
red team
he's my boy
my little one
i used to rock him
and he's good

my heart swells
dangerously large though
when i hear them
sing
play
talk
about jesus
they're my boys
i used to rock them
and they are good

on mirrors and truth

so the mirror and fluorescent lights
in the staff bathroom
at school
have joined forces
to attack
my self-esteem.
at home, my eyebrows
are awesome -
the wax job lasts
weeks, months even
but at school, i see the truth
the junior eyebrows
stand out in stark
contrast
to my white skin
i am positive
they are laughing at me.
at home, my hair
is lovely -
the sun streaks
enhance my mousy brown
but at school, more truth
the streaks of gray
mock me
so that i hang
my head, ashamed.
i wonder what
the lighting is
like in the
student restrooms....

I might want to avoid the truth about my eyebrows and gray hair, but I want to hold one truth high, shine light all over it, and that is that Jesus is the One and Only. I've spent more time on a daily basis in scripture this summer then I have in a long time, and I want to keep it going. To continue in truth. That means getting up even earlier than I did last year because I've always counted on evening time and it's not reliable. So....5:00 it is. And if the truth is awesome and I don't want to stop, I'll slap that gray hair into a ponytail real quick and head out the door!

PS: I loved Amber's post at the run amuck today. It's about her oldest going to kindergarten. Check it out.

dirt

My boys play baseball so I have a laundry ritual. Soak the uniform for at least an hour in cold water, one cup of spray n wash and two scoops of oxy clean. Then wash as usual. Almost all of the infield comes out. Most of the outfield, too. Almost. I feel the same. I spend my time with Jesus working out the infield. The outfield. But the remnants…. Sometimes I get so angry – why can’t I be normal? Healthy? Real? But those stains? They’re my testimony. My reminders. My humility. Thank you, Jesus for the dirt.

I'm linking up to Emily's tuesdays unwrapped and Amber's the run amuck. Enjoy!

let go

Going a little deep today:

Our youth minister planned a ski trip to West Virginia for this weekend, and our older son, Hank, was to attend. I am a wretched worrier when it comes to my children going on trips without me. Yes, I worry about safety, but also about their smells, manners, sloppiness.... In Hank's case I wonder who will ride in the helicopter with him when he is airlifted to a hospital in Charleston because he has snapped his leg in half. There is a precedent. Worry is in my hand basket. At Bible study Wednesday night Beth Moore talked about unforgiveness. She said that if a person holds on to unforgiveness, she can't hold on to Jesus. Hmmmm. I sat there thinking that I have a hand basket of items that keep me from holding on to Him. Let me unpack it: anger, fear, worry, eating disorder, sadness. I understand with my head that Jesus will bear these burdens, in fact, he wants to bear them. I just don't have the slightest idea how to make the transfer. What's in your basket?

Lighter notes:

The trip was canceled!

I had to laugh when I filled out Hank's ski rental form. It was one of those that's carbonized and has little boxes to fill in, you know, one letter or number per box. Now remember, this is a form for renting skis or snowboards. The place to record the age of the renter? Three boxes!