when beautiful is ugly

(writing for five minutes on beautiful)

sometimes life is ugly
like parents loving a child through drug rehab
like a spouse drowning as he tried to save a life
like children changing and dressing their father
like a mom and dad burying their third child
like a man bearing execution for humanity's sake
and the brokenhearted cry tears unceasing
that fall to earth like so much rain
and i love what joseph has to say to his
brothers-who-cast-him-off
you intended to harm me, 
but god intended it all for good
and what if we lived like that?

believing that from the to-the-earth-tears

beauty will spring forth....

when have you seen beauty spring from the ugly?

linking with-

the gypsy mama for five-minute-friday, grace for FYBF, beholding glory for faith-filled friday, cheryl for true vine challenge, barbie for freshly brewed life

it's how we make it (matthew 18:20)

the burning american question this weekend is how do people live after losing a child? i have to admit that i'm avoiding present-wrapping because i can't stop thinking about parents who have gifts under their trees for children who are no more. i haven't lost a child, but i believe it's the single worst event a human can face. my brother lost a child three years ago this week; i held a fifth-grader on the side of the highway ten days ago as she and her mother wailed for the crushed sister; and connecticut. oh connecticut. i wrote the piece below four days after losing my nephew.....it's how we make it.

the wind chimes, 
reminders of the futility of trying to stop time, 
played their merry tune 
even as the family gathered 
to mourn 
grief and her companion, exhaustion 
rode on their shoulders 
pressing them down 
making 
each step 
each word 
each breath 
labored 
but 
trudging through 
their new world 
their cameronless world 
their i-don’t-know-how-we’ll-make-it world 
they 
held 
hands 

always, always thanking him who gives all good gifts -

862. seeing my house in the daylight
863. the roches christmas cd
864. high school chorus concert
865. and middle school band
866. prayers of a nation for an entire community
867. and prayers of a community for a sick friend
868. texting with my husband (who hates texting!)
869. texting with my girl - we've been too out of touch of late....

linking with -

michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, ann for 1000 gifts, emily for tuesdays unwrapped,

joan for sharing his beauty, laura for playdates with god, jen for soli deo gloria shanda for on your heart tuesdays, emily for imperfect prose and kat for titus 2 tuesdays

fog, running and isn't this life?

i pulled my hood up
for the bottom land
where fog lifted off the creek
and the air was
cold
cold
cold
but i didn't stop
one foot then the other
one foot then the other
it's uphill,
out of the fog,
and isn't this life?
uphill,
out of life-sapping
fear
grief
worry
depression
(the list is longer but who wants to read it?)
but we can't stop
one foot then the other
one foot then the other
hemmed in,
behind and before,
by the one who
has overcome the world
i topped the hill
(not limping)
pulled off my hood
and
ran on

what's your fog, your bottom land? and how do you get out?

continuing to count his gifts to 1000 -

842. a christmas tree!
843. friends who brought the tree!
844. cream cheese brownies
845. watching my boys wrestle
846. hearing hank drive up to the house, safe
847. a surprise gift from my husband
848. time with mom and dad at church
849. happy texts from my girl, the one i mentor

linking with -

michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, ann for 1000 gifts, l.l. for on, in, and around mondays

joan for sharing his beauty, laura for playdates with god, elaine for miss elaine-ous monday, jen for soli deo gloria shanda for on your heart tuesdays and kat for titus 2 tuesdays