on the scale (full well)

me on the left, friend in the center and my twin on the right
c. 1978 (an era of confidence)

i liked myself as a child
you know, 
before adolescence and an awareness
of
others
it was maybe fourth grade when
i began building this 
ramshackle self-image
on the shoddy foundation
of the world's eye
that saw 
stringy hair, ruddy complexion, 
spectacles and old clothes
in my thirties
i befriended 
the scale, the world's voice
fluent in lies as well as numbers
she interprets weights and assigns blame
she dictates our days and strips us of self-worth
she is power
(if we allow it)
and i fell for it
the husband, moms, sisters, doctors wanted me to know
what david-god's-beloved knew....
he had a heart tuned to 
god's eye 
god's voice
and he sang
i praise you because i am 
fearfully and wonderfully 
made;
your works are wonderful, 
i know that full well
this breath-taking verse revisited yesterday

and i retucked it into memory

for when the world tries to speak

and i need her to 

hush

so, what is your relationship to the scale? 

continuing to count his gifts to 1000-

908. sunshine after four days of....not
909. a sweet note from a student
910. an email from a friend of a different season....coffee to come
911. snow-in-the-south - 3 inches!!!!
912. an hour and a half in the car with my husband after his trip to jamaica
913. blankets
914. the heatable rice sack i put in my bed each night = warm feet
915. my girl, the one i mentor, who made me the rice sack
916. watching the sun rise....right.now.

linking with -

michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, ann for 1000 gifts, emily for tuesdays unwrapped,

joan for sharing his beauty, laura for playdates with god, amber for concrete words, jen for soli deo gloria, my freshly brewed life and kat for titus 2 tuesdays