Monday, July 23, 2012

he doesn't want my habaneros or cantaloupe

the pastor said  first fruits
and the gardener in me
fine-tuned her listening ears
the israelites sacrificed the
first of their gardens and fields
as a thank offering
every year
me? i'm checking my cantaloupe
every few minutes
anticipating that first juicy bite
no way am i going to offer
that to someone else
this resistance to sacrifice
illuminates my greedy heart....
now i know that since i'm not following
the festival calendar laid out in leviticus
i'm not compelled to lay my tomatoes or cantaloupe
on an altar
but what are my first fruits?
what does god desire of me?
the psalmist writes in number 51,
for you will not delight in sacrifice,
or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering
(or a cantaloupe)
the sacrifices of God are
a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
o God, you will not despise
he doesn't want my habaneros or cantaloupe
he wants me

how about you? what are you holding back?

continuing to count his gifts to 1000-

706. canning tomatoes
707. watching cantaloupe grow
708. a week with my sisters and brothers and parents and nieces and nephews
709. my girl, the one i mentor, she gets a week at the beach now!
710. my husband, the one i love to the moon and back 1 million times
711. the sons, their laughter
712. lizard poop on my floor (it isn't snake poop)

linking with -

michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, ann for 1000 gifts, l.l. for on, in, and around mondays


  1. Amen, Kendra! He wants us...the sacrifices we make are to give Him ourselves. Thank you for sharing this beautiful message! (the gardener in me can relate!)

  2. I loved this post! Thank you for sharing. And I'm curious about your #712? How did you know what it was and who it was from? :)

    1. it looked a little like mouse poop but with a bright white tip. i looked it up. the white tip is indicative of reptile droppings. small emough to be lizard. and even thinking of a snake in my house makes me lose it, so i am choosing to believe in a lizard. which i can handle.

  3. I would have a hard time sharing too, after all that work. But I still would.

    Thanks for these thoughts... and for linking up. :)

  4. I laughed at this one, because I have taken that literally in the past - giving the first fruits (or thereabouts) to a local service center that accepts food donations. But your question, and point, are good ones...I think the thing I have the hardest time relinquishing is control - the sacrifice of trusting rather than trying in my own strength. I hope someday I'll learn what that looks like. :)

  5. I love that Psalm, and I love your post. I have to imagine giving my firsts of different things (like a piece of pizza) to see where I am holding on to tightly.

    I'm impressed with your garden! Didn't I read your post a year or two ago about your first garden? Now you're a pro!

  6. First fruits - the things I want to keep most - I don't relinquish them as easily as I'd like to pretend I do. God, help me give it all back - none of it's really mine anyway. Thank you, for this lovely, heart-pricking post.

  7. Love the last line here. I think it might be easier to give up my first cantaloupe than to fully surrender myself. Such challenging words here ALWAYS. Thank you.

  8. Yes. What shall we render? Not what we can part with, but that which is most precious to us; the best we have, the best we can give. Not easy, is it? What beautiful word pictures you drew for me, thank you.
    So glad I linked to SDG.
    Peace and good.

  9. Perfectly written...perfectly convicting. Thank you for this. Glad I found you through OYHT. Blessings!

  10. You are so right! Thank you for sharing your heart today! Stopping in from OYHT.

    Simply God's Girl

  11. I find myself thinking, "I've given God everything." And then He shows me little parts I'm clinging to. Really, they are worthless to anyone else. And in light of God's gift should be worthless to me. This post convicted me as I read.

  12. What a good word! Thank you for this, Kendal. Glad I found you. :)