Monday, October 29, 2012

what made me cry on senior night

i didn't cry when
he came off the practice field
to line up with us,
this seventeen-year-old
guitar-playing
athlete
i didn't cry when
the cheer coach handed
me a rose to lay across my arm
i didn't cry when i
showed my son how to give me
his arm
and
i didn't cry when the announcer
said
hank privette
escorted by
chris and kendal privette
the tears arrived when i realized
that one of the guys
didn't have his mom
she.didn't.show.up.
i was at once incensed
and
in action,
asking the assistant principal to stand-in
but
how many times in seventeen years
have i been
physically present
yet
distant all the same
reading, working, cooking, talking
not.showing.up.
we're called to this, moms,
all.in.
whatever you do,
do all to the glory of God

how about you? do you ever get angry at an injustice only to realize you've basically done the same?

continuing to count his gifts to 1000-

810. new recipes
811. coaches who teach skills and respect
812. running a new route on a cool, fall morning
813. electricity
814. nieces and nephew hiking to the big rock
815. students who try hard
816. husband tells sons he's proud of them

linking with -

michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, ann for 1000 gifts, l.l. for on, in, and around mondays

16 comments:

  1. All the time, Kendal. No sooner I pass judgement that God gently reminds me to take out the plank in my own eye.

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  2. You are wise, Kendal. I'm sure I'm guilty of that offense more than I want to count. Present in body but not present in mind isn't offering the best present I can...

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  3. It's so easy to see the shortcomings of others...Thanks for reminding me that often what I accuse is what I stand guilty of.

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  4. oh yes...in stores...in groups...and then...God’s loving mercy shows me my log...and for me...with logs come compassion...and I know...except by the Grace of God...thanks for sharing...blessings and happy senior year:)

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  5. right. it goes at least as far back as david, hearing those timeless words of the prophet: you are that man.

    this is the love that overcomes, kendal. the one humble enough to give grace freely, knowing that freely it has been received.

    great job, as usual. :)

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  6. Thank you for this today, Kendal. So much is just about showing up, and your reminder is priceless.

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  7. Wow - as a daycare teacher I witnessed situations like this fairly often. It is so sad. What a great lesson here - sometimes we take the things closest to us for granted. Hopping over from Playdates. Blessings from Croatia: A Little R & R: www.littlerandr.org

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  8. Your heart is stunning--the way you care for others. And then how you examine your own and try to be more and more like Jesus. We all need to look inside sometimes. Thank you for this.

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  9. yes, oh yes. we fostered this spring and I keep thinking about the boy who wished he knew where his mom was when he woke in the morning. he was never sure if she would be there. that makes my heart weep. but as you say, i see in myself the times I pull back and distance myself from the family, doing the same thing that that boy told me...yes, yes

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  10. Ah yes, the conviction. Yes the bitter sweet conviction. His whisper so we may correct or readjust our course. The prayer of my heart is she had a really good something that kept her away. But yes, physically present yet somewhere else or otherwise engaged. Thanks Kendall for your transparent truth telling and yes we are called to be fully... yes yes. I am encouraged. I love your voice, friend.

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  11. Oh yeah. Sure have. And crying about it is not enough. I have to make up for it as much as I can. I must listen. I must pay attention. Time leaks away so easily...

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  12. Wow. I was choked up before we even got to the punch line. The mother/son thing just tugs my heart every time.

    So often, I am there but I am not there. (Heck, and lots of times I'm not even there.) How can I begin to judge?

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  13. All too often. And it was especially magnified this month when I was writing about loving deeply only too be pushing my kids away so I could write. Ugh.

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