my husband announced as i topped the steps yesterday
pretty sure i fist-pumped at that news
and made a mental note
not to eat those black chickens anytime soon
these hens?
valuable to me for their food-production
(they should live in fear, really)
and is this the heart of
of the guilt that trails me?
even though i don't believe
in works-based salvation
it's
how
i
live
ticking off acts and accomplishments
in an attempt to
cash them in for
god's
approval
i'm afraid of disappointing
him
for not doing enough
this is a sad spiritual place
but
look at this fist-pumping good news -
so then it (salvation) depends not on
human will
or
exertion,
but on
God,
who has mercy
amen.
where are you with grace? accepting, skeptical, or somewhere in-between?
continuing to count his gifts to 1000-
940. one of my sons' songs coming up on my ipod as i run
941. blue sky
942. an egg from a black chicken (she's been on vacation, apparently)
943. blue birds
944. a new bible on its way
945. seeing my house in the daylight
946. baseball
linking with -
michelle for hear it monday, use it on sunday, ann for 1000 gifts, joan for sharing his beauty, laura for playdates with god, the true vine challenge, jen for soli deo gloria, my freshly brewed life and kat for titus 2 tuesdays
oh friend...."ticking off acts and accomplishments
ReplyDeletein an attempt to
cash them in for
god's
approval"....fight this spiritual battle with myself...thank you for your words
Ha...yes, indeed. How to live in the reality we say we believe. It's almost a catch-22, but not quite. God did, after all, give us life and wants us to live it. The hard part is keeping our eye on Him while we do.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this post especially because it is grace-based. Hasn't grace been there all along but gone unnoticed? I also liked reading your list from 1000 Gifts as I am counting too!!
ReplyDeleteI linked up right after you on The Weekend Brew at Barbie's blog.
I'm still on the journey to really, really believing grace is not going anywhere. It seems too good to be true. But it is; I want to believe more.
ReplyDeleteLoved this. Where am I with grace? Well, I've walked a great many years with Jesus, even through a period of time when I greatly needed His forgiveness. I don't understand sometimes why He loves me so much, but I accept His unconditional gift of grace. And I am very, very grateful for it.
ReplyDeleteI figure that judging my *worthiness* is sorta pride in reverse. I keep trying to keep my eyes on HIM - the One who is worthy, and deemed me somehow worth dying for...
GOD BLESS!
Oh, I get this about the eggs! We have chickens, too, and, hanging on the mudroom wall, a framed piece of an old feedbag that pictures a hen and the dire warning, "Lay or bust!" And sadly, I get the other, too, the unspoken, unreasonable fear that if I don't perform "productively" I'll fall from His grace. A. W. Tozer said we should realize we're meant to be eagles soaring high instead of pecking around down in a pen with the chickens---and you've just given further meaning to the analogy!
ReplyDeleteAren't we always back and forth? I say, "Yes, of course, I believe in grace"...but then I don't live with the freedom that really brings...
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about that verse where Jesus imagines God as a hen who gathers. God is gathering, always, regardless of our merit or productivity. Thank goodness!
ReplyDeleteI love the way you have with words. I just wanted to tell you that today. (and working on the works thing - so, so hard.)
ReplyDeleteI love your voice, kendal. it's gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
www.rsrue.blogspot.com
God Bless You!
I love you for fist pumping over good news. I love you for putting us in check about the ticking off accomplishments deal. Yep.
ReplyDeleteawww...love this Kendal. For some reason I move in and out of accepting and extending grace. It's like I "get it" and then I forget it some days. I wish I could just find that sweet spot and stay there but then again if that was the case would I ever need the grace of forgiveness. Love you friend!
ReplyDeleteI studied and memorized James last year and I've been unable to move on to another book just yet because it is so rich. It goes deep into works vs faith. And I think it's that age-old thinking that our works will bubble out of our love but still, sometimes I just need to stop all the craziness, go to Him...and BE.
ReplyDelete